Sunday, May 21, 2017

Why


  • Why is it OK for guys to bully girls they like? (including me)
  • Why is it OK for anybody to try to trip somebody when they are on the stairs for any reason?
  • Why is it OK for people to talk down to me?
  • Why is OK to pin somebody to the ground (or do other things that can be considered violent) just because the person being pinned is mad/upset & storming out? (Slamming doors, but not threatening to actually hurt anybody)
  • Why is it OK for somebody to yell when someone else doesn't know something?
  • Why is OK for people to totally disrespect the feelings of somebody they view as inferior?
  • On that note, why is OK for somebody to see somebody else as inferior to them?
  • Why is it OK for person A to call Person B a meddler when B stands up to A on behalf of person C, while A has no problem telling somebody else what to do with their life? (To me, that seems like a bully getting mad when they are called out.)

Is it something people like me did to deserve cause/deserve being treated like that? Is it something about who we are that causes us to be treated like this? I know it's selfish, but I need to be able to understand why. Why do people like me get treated like that when we're just trying to be good people? I try my best to not hate anybody. For me, that means not wanting anybody dead. (Oh, Trumpass sure is testing me on this one.) I try to treat people better then I expect to be treated. (Granted, that's not saying much.) I try not to look down on people for their skin color, gender identity, sexual orientation, & other things they have no control over.

As a society, why do we mostly ignore bullying?

Why do we ask women who are raped questions like "what were you wearing?" "were you drunk?"As if she has to carry some of the blame for the decision made by her rapist. Do we seriously think men are to darn weak to control themselves? If we do, why do we let men have guns, drive cars, or do anything else where they can endanger other people? Or is the rape thing all about men having power over women?

That's just the beginning. We still have systematic racism, sexism, homophobia, anti-trans, etc.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

What I Want


I was really upset & hurting the other night. What I wanted & didn't want was going through my mind, so I started to write in my journal. This is what came out. You can either read the images from my journal, read the bulleted transcription on the side,or a combination of the 2. Whichever you find easier for you. (I'll be upfront. Some of these are things I want around some people in my life that I do get around other people in my life.)


  • I want to learn how to be a better person then Hitler.
  • I want to earn the right to have my political opinion & not have somebody suggest I kill myself because of it.
  • I want to earn the right to form my own opinion.
  • I want to earn the right to make my own decisions - esp on important things like if I want to have kids or not
  • I want to earn the right to not be bullied
  • I don't want to feel like crap anymore
  • I want to feel like I'm just as worthwhile as everybody else
  • I want to feel like I have something to offer somebody - even if it's a lie
  • I want to not feel like I have to have higher expectations for myself as I do for everybody else
  • I want to earn the right to be myself around family - aka Mom, Dad, Jess, Amanda, etc
  • I want to like myself as much as my co-workers seem to like me (NOTE this includes friends that I don't work with.)


  • I really don't want to feel like crap anymore
  • I really don't want to feel stupid anymore
  • I don't know how. I don't know how to do any of these things & I should. I just should.
  • I shouldn't have been weak* enough to feel like the bullies want/wanted me to feel
  • I should've* just know how to deal with bullies when they first started to bully me
  • I shouldn't have been hurt by the bullies emotional abuse I should've been too strong for that
  • So yeah. How do I learn to be human instead of sub-human? How do I learn to treat myself they want I wand friends*, Alex, Cassie*, my nieces & nephews, etc to be treated? I don't even know how or where to start.









* Yes, I know it's spelled wrong in my journal. I was getting things out then, not making sure I used the correct spelling when 2 words sound the same, make sure ' were in the right place, etc. All those mistakes I found when making this blog are corrected in the transcription.


So, that's a little insight into how I feel on a regular basis, esp when I'm hurt or just having a "depressed" day. It's also a glimpse (even for me) of where I want to end up.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

100 Best Websites part 4

Best for Canadian Research
Crossing the international border here. For this section all I'll be doing is basically putting the sites on the list out there & giving a brief overview of what Family Tree Magazine (FTM) has to say. I personally know of no relatives of mine that have lived in Canada. Although, if you need to refrence a map of Canada there's one here.
  • Archives of Manitoba - FTM says it has probate records & Hudson Bay Company archives.
  • Automated Genealogy - OK not an attractive site as far as aesthetics go. FTM says it has volunteer transcriptions of a few censuses.
  • Canadian County Atlas - FTM makes it sound like it only covers Ontario, contrary to what the title suggests.
  • Canadian Genealogy Centre - Looks like a place to go for vital records. FTM says that it has many kinds of records: census, naturalization, divorce, etc.
  • Images Canada - The first page lets you chose between English & French (YEAH). FTM says that it has photo essays, images from cultural institutions, & "image trails."
  • Nova Scotia Historical Vital Statics - FTM says each record is linked to a digital image. That would be nice here in the states.
  • Our Roots - FTM says that it has digitized local histories.
  • That's My Family - Another site that has you chose between English & French. FTM says it's like Google for Canadian Genealogy. That would make it a Canadian mocovo then.
Best Sites for African-American Roots.
I'll be approaching this part of the list just like the part above.
I hope this is helpful to people. I'm going to call it done here. For the complete list for 2010 go here.

Happy research

Sunday, January 29, 2012

100 Best Websites part 3

Got busy moving all my trees into 1 big tree & didn't get around to the new post. Here's more the the 100 Best Websites for Genealogy as put out by Family Tree Magazine (FTM).

Best Sites for Western US Research
Sites for researching ancestors in the Western half of the US.

Think I'll call that good for tonight. More to come though.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

100 Best Websites part 2

I got started yesterday. Let's see how much farther down the list I get tonight :)

Best US Government Sites
  • American Battle Monuments Commission - It appears to be videos about the major wars & major battles in US history. Well since World War I anyway.
  • Bureau of Land Management General Land Office Records - I've used the site a little bit. Found the homestead deed of my great-great grandfather I believe (would have to check for sure). I've had no luck finding plat maps here though.
  • Civil War Soldiers and Sailors System - Looks like it could be a good resource for anybody with ancestors (or other relatives) that served in the Civil War. In my paternal line it's very unlikely anybody served. The Loven's that came over from Norway came after the Civil War I believe. I'll check it out more after I learn more about my other branches of my family tree.
  • Library of Congress - There's a link for historic newspapers right on the home page that could be useful. FTM says the the manuscript collection is worth a try, too.
  • National Archives and Records Administration (NARA) - I believe I looked into getting my grandpa's military records here at some point. Can't remember for sure though. Here's what FTM (Family Tree Magazine) has to say, "You know to visit virtually before planning an in-person trip to the National Archives or one of its regional branches around the country. But don’t overlook the two troves of records on the archives’ website: Access to Archival Databases (AAD), with more than 85 million records, including passengers on US-bound immigrant ships and WWII enlistment files, and the Archival Research Catalog (ARC), an index of 6.3 million records linked to 153,000 digital files."
  • Military Gravesite Locator - I plugged in my grandpa (the one veteran who's information I know, & It couldn't tell me where he's buried (Hillside Cemetery, St. Charles, Minnesota.) I'm says it has all veteran's with the government grave marker (which I'm not sure if my grandpa has).
  • USS Geological Survey - I don't know enough about it to really have anything to say.
Best Sites for Eastern US Research
Just like it sounds like this is for looking up ancestors in the Eastern United States.
  • Cincinnati Virtual Library - It has downloadable maps of Cincinnati. It aslo has downloadable books & according to FTM city directories of Cincinnati which would make a must for anybody who's looking up somebody that lived in Cincinnati.
  • Cook County Genealogy Online - Right on the home page it has buttons to order vital records. Birth certificates from 75 years or more ago, marriage certificates from 50 or more years ago, and death certificates from 20 or more years ago. Otherwise it looks to have Chicago history, which can be helpful.
  • Digital Library of Georgia - With no ancestors in Georgia not one I'm gonna find useful. Check it out if you're research leads you to Georgia though.
  • Iowa GenWeb - One I've used. I've found obits, maps breaking the county down into townships, etc. If you have ancestors in Iowa like I do this is one site worth using.
  • Massachusetts Archives - Has a vital record index, archives index, in in progress is a passenger arrival index. Check it out if you had ancestors in MA or your ancestors arrived or may have arrived through a port in MA.
  • Minnesota Historical Society - If you need vital records from Minnesota this is the place to go. You can order birth certificates from 1900 - 1934, death certificates from 1904 - 2001 (ok they were called death cards through 1907), & you can order to have somebody look up a marriage record. You need to know when & where the marriage took place already though, so not handy to try to get marriage information. So far, I've gotten death certificates for both my maternal grandparents, a great-grandma (broke that brick wall leading to her parents), and a great-great-grandma. I'll be ordering more including birth certificates in the future. Wish every state made it this easy to get birth & death certificates.
  • Missouri Digital Heritage -This site I'll have to look into when I have the information on the few MO relatives I have. Looks like it'll be worth a try.
  • OK/IT Genealogy - It (like Iowa GenWeb) are under USGenWeb. With no OK ancestors I'm aware of (other than an uncle that lived there for a few years) not worth my time to use. Check it out though if any of your ancestors came from Oklahoma.
  • Seeking Michigan - Looks like it'll be worth checking out for anybody researching ancestors in Michigan.
  • Wisconsin Historical Society - Looks like it has several collections. I'll check it out more when I research my maternal family. Some of them lived in Wisconsin. Hey, my great-grandpa was born there I believe.
I think I'll call that a day. Stay tuned for part 3 hopefully later this week.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

2012 100 Best Websites

Family Tree Magazine (you can subscribe here) every year puts a list of the top 100 Genealogy websites. Here's the list for 2012 broken up into sections just like they did (ftm list). I'll put my notes on any I've used on the list or that I'm gonna have to try :).

Best Big Genealogy sites.
As they put it so well. These are all "mega sites" that don't charge you for ancestor data. That alone makes it a useful list. The subscription costs are what keeps me from using genealogy.com.
  • Brigham Young University family history archives - The site appears to be through the familysearch.org site that the Church of Latter Day Saints has (& that I've used a lot). Looks like a site I'll be checking out more.
  • Cyndi's List - It's a site full of links broken down into categories. In the past I've had trouble getting information with the site myself.
  • FamilySearch - This is my favorite search site. I've gotten loads of information from it that I would've had to pay for at genealogy.com.
  • Random Acts of Genealogical Kindness - Ftm's notes say the site has 4,000+ volunteers to help track things down locally (where they are) when you can't make a trip say across the country for a court record that can't be found online. According to a blog I saw here the site is down for a while for several reasons. Expains why I can't get the site to load on my laptop.
  • Roots Web - It looks like it's a part of the pay site ancestry.com. It's one I've never used before.
  • USGenWeb - This is a site I've recently started to use. It has break downs for every state, then every county. It's handy for finding cemeteries. I've used to to track down census images when FamilySearch didn't have the actual image. The census images aren't transcribed, but if you already know the county to look in & the township or town (for non-farmers) it's not a very daunting task. A little time consuming yes.
  • WeRelate - This is a genealogy wiki. I'm sure it's useful for newbies to go & gather some tips & that. I've never checked it out.
  • WorldGenWeb - Would be the world equivalent of USGenWeb. I've never used it, but from my quick once over it starts by having you click on the continent (I did Europe), then it has it split into regions (I did CenEuro), then country. I found both Germany & Norway on the list, so will cover my paternal lineage (assuming the German parts came from a part of Germany still in Germany). I'll have to check it out some more later.
Best Record Resources
The email I got says nothing about this section. Will just have to see as we go then.
  • Access Genealogy - FTM says that its strong suit is Native American records, which wouldn't apply to me to the best of my knowledge. When I clicked on Iowa though it has a link about Scandavians & their biographies. Looks to be a book. I'll have to give this site more of a try in the future I think.
  • Daughters of the American Revolution - From what I've done so far I haven't found any relatives that were here during the Revolution. OK ancestors would be more accurate then relatives, so I'm probably going to hold off looking this site over more.
  • DistantCousin.com - FTM says the site is strongest in thins like city directories & school alumni lists. I'll have to give a try later.
  • Find a Grave - This site is working on (through the work of volunteers) getting all the cemeteries in the US transcribed & with pictures of each tombstone. Will take a lot of time. I have a "virtual cemetery" (where you can store the memorials you have an interest in to make them easy to find again) that's just relatives (both ancestors & a little more distant) that haven't been put up by a volunteer yet & where I, for whatever reason, don't know where they were buried. You can see my page here. It's my main way of keeping track of what I need to look for cemetery-wise. If you can't tell already I recommend this site.
  • Google News Archive Search - a tool I haven't used. May find it useful for other non-genealogy stuff though.
  • Interment.net - The homepage says it has cemetery burial records from around the world. 'm going to have to check this out & see if I can find the burial places of some of those previously mentioned relatives on this site.
  • Newspaper Abstracts - It looks like the site has images from historical newspapers. It even has an obituary section. I'll have to actually try it sometime & see if I can find some of the obits I'm missing. Just have to be careful. Looks like it sends to ancestry.com where you have to pay at least part of the time. It did for the Waukon Standard that I just clicked on.
Now that's not all 100 of their sites. Just the first 2 of the 13 sections the list has been broken down into. Will have to continue on tomorrow.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

What to do hmm........

I have this blog, but have obviously done nothing about it. I'm thinking of maybe displaying my cross-stitch projects here and/or genealogy tips I've found & things I'm working on in my own family tree. Maybe I'll just have to do both lol. To those of you (few) that read this feel free to comment with ideas.

Martha